Adam's Roommate Woes
by KaNeWHoRe2389
Summary: Adam is never rooming with Matt and Jeff again...ever.


**Author's Note**: Just another small treat for the people that read something called fanfic, specifically wrestling fanfic lol. This is not betaed so there might be some mistakes. I hope this makes you laugh. And this story is not in any way related to the three that I have already posted, just so you know. Enjoy!

**Summary**: Adam is never sharing a room with Matt and Jeff again…ever.

Adam was two seconds away from spearing the hotel clerk across from him. The bastar-clerk's name was Martin and the guy didn't look a day over 19. Martin was 5 foot definitely- got- stuffed- into- a- locker in high school. His hair looked like Lloyd Christmas' and the ugly grey checkered vest of his work uniform was starting to bother Adam way more than it should.

The kicker though? The kid was nice. He had the nerve to be nice while Adam was quietly plotting his maiming. Asshole.

Adam was usually an easy going guy. Sure he played an asshat sometimes on TV but behind the scenes, his camaraderie with the other superstars was solid. He loved talking to fans that approached him on the street and he had his family and friends for support. His life was going great. However a new obstacle had formed in Adam's Happy World. That obstacle was christened…

_Martin_.

Martin was currently in the process of telling the rated-r superstar there were no available rooms ("no not even smoking Mr. Copeland") in the entire hotel. This was a problem. Why?

The Hardy boys. They were the cause of Adam's irritation, headache and his trip down to the clerk's desk in the first place. Those two had been grating everyone's nerves lately with their constant bickering and mischief. Sure nobody was seriously upset about it, but annoyed? Every superstar wanted to ring the brother's necks.

The last straw that broke the camel's back was when Matt and Jeff had started roughhousing in the hotel room while Adam was in it. He had been trying to read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo but three and a half chapters in was as far as he got. An errant and airborne pillow had knocked the book from his hands and onto the floor next to the bed, effectively wrinkling some of the pages.

Now, Adam was not a librarian crone in a former life but he absolutely hated having wrinkled pages in his books, especially new books. While Matt and Jeff looked appropriately sheepish and inside Adam was grinning at their antics, he had slammed the hotel door and hauled ass down to the hotel lobby to request a new room. So far the plan was shaking it's ass in his face and he did not appreciate it.

"'Scuse me, Mr. Copeland? I have checked our computer twice and there are no open rooms. You will have to stay where you are for the time being."

_Martin you incredible bastard_

Adam tried not to let that less than jovial thought show on his face. The kid really was trying to help him and had not predicted Adam zoning out for a minute, or three. With a heavy internal sigh Adam did manage to thank him nicely for his help. Turning around, Adam stepped away from the desk and towards the stairs. Yes there were three flights and there was an elevator right next to them. He was stalling the inevitable, clear and simple.

Adam trudged up the stairs taking his damn sweet time of returning to his room. Pausing outside their door for a moment he put his ear to the wood, listening closely and with more than a little trepidation. He heard quiet movements in the room.

_God help him what were those two boneheads up to now?_

Fearing the worst he slid his room key into the slot and winced as the green light appeared. Cautiously he opened the door and carefully took a few steps in.

The room did not resemble a war zone as he had previously feared. It was actually…cleaned up. The pillows were all put back on their own beds and the covers were at least laid somewhat orderly on the beds. His book, he had to laugh, was on the hotel table with the hotel phone and bible resting on top of it.

Adam shook his head, smiling softly. The brothers might drive everyone around them crazy but they did try to make up for it.

Matt and Jeff were watching TV on the bed next to the window.

"Hey guys, the place looks good".

Matt looked over from his perch on his bed and smiled guiltily, "Yeah we know we made a mess. We wanted to clean up for you before you got back. Where'd you go anyway?"

_Crap._

Now that the room was cleaned up and Matt and Jeff were behaving again Adam felt bad about wanting to switch rooms. He decided to fudge the truth a little.

"I just went to cool off for a sec. I'm good now." There, no feelings hurt.

Jeff grinned. "Yeah, sorry about that. We get a little stupid while we're on the road and cooped up into a room. Ya know?"

_Yes, I noticed _Adam thought wryly.

"Yeah it's cool. Now that we're all settled down what movie do you guys wanna watch?

That was Adam's fatal mistake. The cherry on top of his cake of idiocy. That question led to a channel surfing period of 15 minutes which led to the brothers' agreeing on…_oh please no. Not this movie. Anything but this movie._

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Adam wanted to curse so badly but his mother would not appreciate it. Still, a silent f-bomb was just on the tip of his tongue.

Action/Martial Arts movies always got the brothers hyper and when two wrestlers, one of them being an aerial wrestler get hyper, things go wrong very quickly.

Adam quickly tried to grab the remote from Jeff but the enigma dodged Adam's attempts and lobbed the remote to his brother's waiting hands.

"Come on Adam let us watch it. We've always wanted to learn some of those moves" Jeff whined.

"No Jeffrey Nero! You remember what happened the last time you watched The Matrix?"

Jeff stopped for a second. Sure he remembered. He was the one that landed in the hospital with a sprained wrist after he attempted the bullet-dodging on top of the roof scene with Neo.

He thought hard for a second.

"We'll be careful".

Adam gaped at him. _We'll be careful, that's the best he could come up with?_

Jeff looked satisfied like he had come up with an explanation that put E=mc squared to shame. Adam desperately looked to Matt for help but the older Hardy's eyes were glued to the TV screen, trying to memorize the complex martial arts moves in front of him.

Before he could vocally implore Matt's help to keep another trip to the hospital at bay Jeff lunged over the bed and karate chopped Matt on his shoulder of all places.

Matt immediately pulled Jeff into a headlock and wrestled him to the ground. Jeff swiftly slipped out of the headlock and pulled himself to his feet. He then raised both arms above his head with the fingers of both hands together and pointing downwards in a sharp point. He brought one leg up like a stork and let out a "Huaaaa!"

"Wuaaaaa!" was Matt's reply. Adam looked and Matt was in an identical pose to his brother.

_Great. Just great, what the hell as I supposed to do now?_

A knock at their door answered the question for him. Keeping his eye on tweedle dum and tweedle dee he quickly opened the door to reveal the Dead Man himself.

_Craaaap_.

The big man didn't wait for an invitation and stalked into the room. He immediately stepped in between the two brothers.

"What the hell are you two doin?" his deep Texan drawl asked.

Both brothers straightened themselves up and launched into an explanation too garbled for Mark to make out.

Mark blinked a couple of times, cleared his throat and tried again.

"One at a time, kids".

Jeff spoke up first.

"We were watching this movie on TV and we wanted to try some of the moves".

_Moves? What the hell was the idiot talkin bout?_

Mark shifted his gaze to the TV and saw what was playing. Recognizing the movie he shook his head.

"Listen up crouching dumbass hidden numbnuts, people are trying to sleep. Specifically me and it's a little difficult what with my room being next to yours. So knock off the noise or else".

While Matt and Jeff were notorious for being hardheaded this was one instance they knew to listen. They both nodded their heads in agreement.

Mark made a satisfied noise and then exited as quickly as he had entered. Adam shut the door behind him and looked back at the brothers. They were just standing there not sure what to do with themselves. Well, it was 11:00 p.m. How about bed?

"Guys maybe we should just call it a night".

With the idea of a martial art showdown flushed down the toilet both brothers mulishly agreed. Adam was thankful but then he thought about them sharing a bed. Certainly that was a problem in the making. He knew how to fix that.

"Jeff you're sleeping with me".

Or not.

Jeff's face broke into a sleazy grin and Adam wanted to knock him upside the head. He corrected himself.

"You guys are still itching for a bout of roughhousing I can tell. Therefore we are sharing a bed and Matt gets the other one".

Jeff's grin turned into a pout because he's a complete perv and Adam was not surprised at all. Thankfully both brothers used the bathroom without much argument and Matt climbed into his bed and turned the lamp next to it off.

Adam used the bathroom and then climbed into the bed where Jeff was already. Adam turned on his side away from Jeff and let out a screech as Jeff leaned over and poked the tip of his tongue into Adam's ear.

"Goddamnit Jeff!"

Jeff laughed dirty-like and proceeded to try to wrap his arms around Adam's prone form.

"Alright that's it. You move your ass to the other bed. Matt! Switch beds with your idiot brother please".

Jeff looked heartbroken and at this point Adam couldn't have cared less. He bodily drove his foot into Jeff's thigh and knocked him almost completely off the bed. Matt by that time was waiting for Jeff to move his ass out of the way.

Jeff, now grinning, moved over to Matt's vacated spot and pulled the covers over his head, not saying another word. Matt moved into Jeff's spot and turned off the lamp between the two beds so they could get to sleep.

_Finally_, Adam thought, _now we can get some sleep_. He burrowed his head deep into his pillow, breathed deeply, and froze as he heard a low chuckle and felt fingers playing with his hair.

_Never again._


End file.
